MANNER #3 - What To Do When YOU Are Introduced

Before I start today, I just need to say that eating 3 meals a day with my kids has prompted me rethink a few things.  Introductions are important (and cute!), but what we really need help with immediately is TABLE MANNERS!  We need an emergency intervention at the table! So, after I finish this introduction chapter, we are switching to the chapter on table manners!!! Ms. Tina, please help me.

THE MANNER
When you are introduced to someone:

1. Smile, and say: "How do you do?" Now this is interesting, the book says do not say, "Pleased to meet you."  That is odd.  I need to research this further, is that a 1950's rule or should we use it today?  More to come on this.  For now, I will teach my kids, "How do you do?".  It also says, never say, "Hi," or "A pleasure, I am sure." (Too funny).   
2. FOR BOYS:  If you are a boy meeting another boy or man, reach out your hand, look them in the eye, and shake their hand.  If you are a boy meeting a girl, wait for her to reach out her hand first, if she does, shake her hand.  If she does not, look her in the eyes and bow slightly as you say, "How do you do?".
3.  FOR GIRLS: Smile pleasantly, look at the person you are meeting in the eyes and either hold out your hand to shake or make a small curtsy as you say, "How do you do?". Most girls these days do not curtsy anymore, however if you want to, you should do so, as it is not only considered polite but it is also charming.
4. IMPORTANT: Never crush the persons hand you are shaking nor be too slight in the pressure.  Your hand shake is an important sign of who you are.  Be confident but not too aggressive, it will make the person you are meeting feel welcome and not overwhelmed or think that you are weak.

MOMS TAKE & EXECUTION ( Together for today)
Our 3 day weekend is almost over and I am thinking that maybe we learn rules during the week and then practice what we have learned during the weekend.  One a day is definitely hard.  Anyway, we are trying to keep up! Lukas was up for the manner lesson today, but my lil one ran away.  This does not bode well for one year of manner lessons.  Oh well, I proceeded with my one captive audience member.  Okay, this is how to shake someones hand. With some minor adjustments, he got it: too light, augh, too hard, look me in the eyes, say, "How do you do?," shake my hand...You get the point.  This is a very nit picky manner, but if I teach him how to do it right the first time, then he will learn the right way.  Right?  I ask myself as I begin to doubt my process.  Maybe I need to make it more fun?  Is this totally boring?  Back to the manner lesson....If I do not give you my hand, then you must bow, too low, keep looking at my eyes, just bow slightly, one arm in front, one in back, keep looking me in the eye.

Then as I offered to make some honey tea for us because it was a rainy day here, he says to me, "Mommy, let's see how we are suppose to drink tea in the book."   My heart jumped for joy. But I remained calm and did not show my surprise nor enthusiasm. "Great Idea," I replied evenly and went to get the book.  We sat down on the kitchen floor and thumbed to the table manners section.  Well wouldn't you know, there was not anything in there about how to drink tea.  So, I had to make it up.  I couldn't tell him that there were no rules.  Because Chaos theory was not something I was going to tackle today.  Somethings have rules, somethings do not.  I proceeded with my own set of drinking tea rules:  Never slurp tea or make noise when you drink, Girls sometimes lift a pinkie finger when they drink tea, but boys never do.   It sounded pretty good. Anyway, he bought it.  So, now I am thinking I need to go back to library and get Emily Posts book as a reference book for Ms. Tina's.  I will let you know if my made up manners on drinking tea come even close to the expert Miss Post.

So, I am sitting here writing my blog and from the other room, I hear my son call me, "Lora."  I am jarred away from my thoughts on writing.  I take a breath, and calmly answer, " I do not respond to that name."  "Please call me Mommy." He ran in and said,  "I didn't call you Lora, it was Far (that is what we call my husband, their dad, because he is from Denmark and that is the word for father in Danish).   He smiled at me, which is his tell that he is fibbing.  I grabbed him in my arms, looked at him with my crooked smile and raised eyebrows suggesting that I knew who said what and squeezed him.  He smiled and then ran away.  All politeness and manners aside.  I think children should call their parents Mother, mommy, dad, father, ect.  and not by their first names.  I am sure there is NOT even a chapter in my book about what to call your parent because it is just a given.  But, I will let you know as the journey continues and our knowledge of what is polite grows.  Enjoy Presidents Day!